Oh, Fuck Me
by Glitch Smokeside
Summary: Karkat doesn't believe in love. Not in real life. It doesn't exist, even if he wishes it did. Balancing his college work, home life, friends, and a job is hard enough. The worst part though is how lonely he gets. Insert Sollux, a hot stud Karkat fell in lust with one night.. who hasn't left him alone since. What's Sollux's agenda? Whatever it is, it pisses Karkat off to no end.
1. Chapter 1

" What'th your name?"

Karkat watched from a stance on barely suppressed sexual rage. He didn't want to waste time with these get-me-in-your-pants pleasantries most people called 'flirting'. He wanted this hot as fucking boiling lava motherfucker to strip and lay on his back. Jesus, he just wanted to fuck, fuck hard, fuck long, fuck fucking good.

And he wanted this fucker real bad.

All six foot, black haired, nerdy, lispy inch of him.

Dimly he wondered just how _many_ inches he was..

Swallowing those thoughts to stop them from getting out of his mouth, he tilted his head to the side and leaned forward in a suggestive manner, bring his lips closer to the man's ears.

" I'm not in the mood for flirting. You wanna fuck or not?"

He felt the man gulp and nod.

" Good. Now turn around and lead the way to your fucking car."

The bespectacled strangers turned on his heel and started walking to the doors, Karkat on his tail. They went through a side exit that led to an alley. The bouncer outside was smoking a cigarette. It was his job to keep people from going in, not coming out. He barely glanced at them as they walked toward main street and the glow of the streetlights.

Karkat followed the man, watching his ass the entire way. The man pulled some keys out of his pocket, and Karkat heard the sound of a car being unlocked. The man approached shiny, smooth, sleek, black death machine, and pulled open the passenger side door. Karkat would've taken longer to appreciate the car, but the semi in his pants made him too impatient.

He watched the man walk around, slide into the driver's seat and start the car.

" I don't give a fuck where we go. Any place with a wall or floor will do. Just make it quick." Karkat cut in. Now that he was out of the view of the public eye, he didn't have to restrain himself. He let the full effect of his horniness out. He didn't bother to hide his lustful expressions, or restrain his pheromones. The air around him seemed to seep with his sexual need, and he watched with satisfaction as the other man clenched his jaw and had to swallow.

He sped the car out into traffic without another word.

But Karkat was impatient. And a naughty thought ran through his mind as he was eye fucking the man beside him.

Acting quickly, he ducked down so oncoming traffic couldn't see him, and reached the man's zipper. He heard the man's breath hitch, and felt him stiffen in surprise. He pulled down his zipper slowly, rubbing the man's member through his jeans before reaching inside the top of his boxers and pulling out his rapidly stiffening rod.

_Oh._ Karkat observed it with a notion of shock. He hadn't thought he'd be _this_ long.

_Lucky me_.

Casting a quick glance up, Karkat couldn't suppress a giggle when he saw the man's strained face trying to stay focused on the road, and his white knuckled grip on the steering wheel.

Without a second thought, Karkat put the man's hard on in his mouth and sucked. Hard.

The man jerked and let out a moan as his hips bucked. Karkat ran his tongue over the crevices, taking more and more of the man into his mouth until his nose brushed against his pubic hair. He slowly, sucking all the way, brought his head back up to the tip before swallowing him whole again.

The man could barely continue to drive, breathing as heavy as he was and as distracted by involuntary jerks and movements. Then, without warning, his fingers pulled on Karkat's hair, yanking him up.

Karkat noticed the car had stopped, and they were parked outside a hotel. A nice one. He climbed out of the car, leaving the man to deal with shoving his erection back into his jeans. It was his problem after all. Karkat waited for the man to come around the car and lead the way into the hotel. The man went to the reception desk and Karkat tapped his foot impatiently as he waited by the elevator for cards and keys to be exchanged.

The man was so good looking. Tall with broad shoulders, but not built. He was lean. Lean and sexy, with just the right amount of muscle to be seen as strong, but not overbearing. His tight fitting black V-neck showed his defined chest, and his tight jeans, which Karakt noted looked uncomfortably tight at the moment, cupped a round, sexy ass. Even the man's _thighs_ were sexy for Christ's sake. His spiky black hair stuck out in cowlicks and his round glasses sat on the edge of a straight nose. Everything about him oozed a kind of nerdy sexy appeal, like in cheap porno plots when the teacher/scientist/doctor was way to young and hot to be what they looked like. Karkat took the time to observe his face. A strong jaw, with sideburns. The ear the he could see was pierced. Twice.

Suddenly the man walked back towards him, and Karkat pushed the elevator button.

The ride up to the fourth floor was too long, and filled with the heavy atmosphere of sex between the two. The man kept glancing away from him each time Karkat met his glance with his eye fucking. Karkat didn't bother with glancing away. He let his imagination run wild, imagined ripping off those tight clothes and finishing what he started in the car. He imagined the man's strong, lean limbs trapping him in a cage of hot flesh wild his ravaged him with kisses before throwing his legs up and pushing into him. He imagined the sound of their moans and the sounds of their bodies slapping together.

" My name's Karkat." He muttered, leaning over to whisper into the man's ear. The man looked over at him in surprise, and Karkat realized for the first time he had one blue eye and one brown eye. Heterochromic. " Just so you know what to moan in a few minutes." Karkat slipped one hand down the man's back to cup and squeeze his butt. A puff of air escaped his nose with a low groan.

The man glanced away, and the doors opened to their floor. They got off, and quickly made the way to their room. The man slid the card key into the slot of room 413 and pushed the door open. Karkat felt the heat that had been keep in embers all night spring up into a roaring inferno inside his body. Karkat shut the door behind him and immediately pounced. The man lost his balance and they fell to the floor just as Karkat pressed his lips against the other man's.

The man immediately responded by wrapping his arms around him and throwing himself into the kiss with a passion the matched his own. There was no gentleness in the way their tongues fought and their teeth clashed, only lust, only the need to satisfy their need. The man was relentless in his kisses, his hands groping Karkat everywhere, and when he cupped Karkat's already hard member, Karkat broke their kissing to moan.

Not missing a beat, he kissed down his chest, pulling the man's fitting black t-shirt over his head and tossing it away from them. His own shirt was off a beat later, and he mouth went down to the man's nipple, one hand teasing the other, and his free hand groping the man's hardening penis through his tight jeans. He heard him moan.

" For fuck'th thake.. get them off!" Karkat was surprised he'd spoken up. The tightness must be unbearable. His voice is so fucking sexy. Karkat quickly unzipped his jeans and yanked them down to his knees in one swift yank, allowing his boner to spring free.

The dim lighting in the car had hardly done it justice. It look positively delicious up close and flying full glory. Karkat immediately picked up where he'd left off in the car.

" Fuck!" Karkat heard him throw his head back onto the floor and felt his back arc. He stopped himself from smiling, sucking and licking until the man beneath him pushed him away.

Karkat fell backwards with the force of the push, falling onto his back. By the time he looked up the man had managed to get his pants off from around his legs, and was unbuckling Karkat's own straining pants.

Karkat helped him kick them off, and the taller naked man scrambled in his haste, and Karkat felt the apprehension of knowing he'd soon be filled and fucked by that great thing pool in his gut. The man took two seconds to reach into his jean pockets and fish out a condom and a tube of lube, and Karkat began stroking himself, too randy to even care, waiting for the man to equip himself.

Karkat grunted when the man yanked him by the hips towards his pelvis. Two lube covered fingers pushed into Karkat, and he hissed, too far gone to care about the slight pain. The man fingered him, stretching him a bit, before lubing his wrapped member, and pressing it into him.

Karkat felt his mouth fall open, and his head bucked back. He was so long. Karkat grunted, moaning as inch by delicious inch the man slid into him. Karkat didn't think it would ever end, but then he felt his hip bones pressed against him, and he let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

" Fuck.." He moaned, fisting his member, not remembering when he'd stopped. He heard the man's hot, heavy pants above him, and groaned when the man pulled out, before ramming back into him. Karkat yelped, jerking himself. He'd hit his sweet spot on the first thrust.

Karkat felt his legs being moved to the man's shoulders, and his hips being grabbed tightly. Then, without further warning, the man lifted his rear off the carpet, and pounded into him so fast and so hard he couldn't see. He screamed, letting his voice loose, not caring who heard. He couldn't even think straight. He felt dizzy, he felt on fire, every inch of him was being stimulated, and he was loving it. Too close. He moved his hand even faster, screaming as he came. He felt his own hot lines land on his chest, and he didn't care.

He didn't bask in the afterglow very long. The man released his hips, but continued to ride him hard, thrusting into him with a tempo so perfect Karkat couldn't help but get aroused again.

Karkat sat up, and indicated for the man to stop.

" Bed."

The hurriedly moved, but this time Karkat pressed the man against the mattress, on his back. The man seemed like he was going to protest, but stopped when Karkat slid back onto his rock hard member, grunting as he adjusted himself.

" I'll fuck you after."

The man nodded, gripping Karkat's waist as he began bouncing. From this angle, whole new sensations were felt, and Karkat felt like if he could see his own expression, he would be disgusted with how lewd and pathetic his jaw dropped, closed eyes, red faced expression must have been. He moved fast, his weight on his hands that were gripping the man's thighs behind him. He thrust forward and back, up and down all the while focusing on getting himself off a second time. He heard the man's panting go up an octave, beginning to thrust up with Karkat's own down thrust, and picked up the pace. Soon after, he felt the man buck and quiver, and heard him let out a fabulous groan of pleasure.

Karkat eased himself off the man, watching the erotic faces he made in post blissfulness with a lustful eye. Karkat reached into the bedside drawer, acting on hunch, and sure enough, there was a condom. He opened the package and slid it on, getting up to get the lube off the floor, and lubing his member up. When he got back on the bed, he saw the man had been watching him. He grinned, stroking himself as he eased between the man's legs.

" Like what you see?"

The man rolled his eyes. " Not ath much ath I'm gonna like what I feel."

" Touche."

Karkat suddenly spread the man's legs open as wide as they would go, and he heard his breathing hitch. He dived down and licked the man's entrance, warning him what he planned to do. With no objection heard, Karkat continued licking, probing every so gently with his tongue. With his other hand he started pumping the man's member, getting it hard again. He moaned, rapidly becoming a panting mess with every stroke of Karkat's tongue. Too soon, he pulled away, and inserted a lubed finger. He felt the man shake beneath him as he probed and teased, adding a second finger too before pulling them both out a lining himself up. He pressed his hips forward, a hand on either of the man's thighs. The groaned in unison.

Both hard as rocks again, Karkat began moving, exploring the inside of the stud beneath him. He felt the man's little buck when he hit the spot, and grinned.

" Ah." He said. He thought he saw a blush start to blossom on the man's face, but his attention was then directed into pounding into that one spot as hard and fast as he could. The man was so tight, Karkat could barely keep himself from coming again, but somehow he managed to make the sexy man under him squirm and buck and let out the loudest moan he'd heard all night before he came himself.

He pulled out, and fell down next to the man beside him, utterly exhausted and satisfied. They laid there next to each, hearing each other's heavy breathing and basking in the afterglow.

" How long did you pay for?" Karkat asked, after about ten minutes of relaxation.

" The night." _Good, _Karkat thought._ That means I can sleep_. He nodded, and rolled onto his stomach, resting his head on his arms and faced the wall. The sex was great, but he wasn't one for pillow talk with one night stand partners.

Just as he closed his eyes, he heard giggling behind him. He propped himself up on an elbow and looked over his shoulder.

" What?"

" Nothing," He chuckled, looking at him slyly from the corner of his eye, " I jutht thought you'd be more than a two-round chump."

Karkat's anger flared at that. _Challenge accepted, fuckass_.

" Yeah, Lispy? I could fucking go for as long as you fucking want!"

" Really?" He got to his knees in a crouch, " Let'th thee it."

Karkat pounced, and the man fell over backwards, off the bed, and they hit the floor with a loud thud. Karkat froze, unsure if he was okay or not, and the man took the opportunity to flip them over and press Karkat into the carpet.

" Pay attention." He grinned.

Karkat couldn't help but return his naughty smile.

" Make me."


	2. Chapter 2

Karkat woke up drowsy in the morning. Sunlight had began to light the room, but it wasn't bright yet. He sat up groggily, and glanced at the man next to him. Last night had been hot. They'd done it three more times after that. He'd always wanted to be fucked against a wall, and last night he'd been able to fulfill that fantasy. It had been utterly fantastic.

But now it was time to go.

He stood up quietly, and gathered his clothes, putting them on as he went. As he sat down on a chair to put his shoes on, he heard the man start to wake up. His heart skipped a beat; he always made sure to be out of there before they woke up the next morning so no one could ask his number or have to make awkward morning after talk. This guy must've been a very light sleeper. Shit.

He struggled to get his heel into the shoe, scurrying in his haste, when the man spoke up.

" Don't panic fuckfathe, I'm not going to bite." Karkat could hear the man rolling his eyes, and he blushed, caught.

" Yeah, well, I've got fish to feed, so I've got to get going." He managed to get both shoes on successfully and stood up, glancing around for his shirt while avoiding eye contact. " You seen my shirt?"

" By the clothet, I think." Karkat looked and saw it crumpled up in a heap, and snatched it up.

" Thanks." He slid it over his head, heading into the bathroom to make sure he didn't look like an entire wreck unfit for public viewing. He looked tired, and his clothes looked rumpled and skewed, but he looked fine otherwise.

" I'm heading." He told the still naked man on the bed. " See ya."

" Wait!" Karkat paused as the man jumped out of bed and came towards him. He knew what was coming.

" Listen dude, last night was fun, but I don't do the number-swap-let's-meet-again shit." He cut the man off before he could speak.

The man was quiet, and Karkat resisted glancing down his vicious body. Hell, that would be the last thing he needed: getting aroused and the man mistakenly thinking he was just playing hard to get. He legitimately didn't want this guy haggling over him. He did one night stands, enough to get his sexual frustration out, then never saw the guys again. It was how he rolled.

" That thucks for you then."

Karkat did a mental double take.

What?

The man leaned over him, a hand pressed against the door behind him.

" I want your number."

Karkat shivered, the threat and promise in the man's hushed voice overwhelming his senses.

_Shit. Goddammit Karkat, stop being so easily seduced!_

Suddenly the tense silence was shattered by a loud ringing.

" Fuck..!" The man turn away from Karkat, to find his ringing cellphone. Without a moment's hesitation, Karkat slipped out the door and sped off in a sprint down the hall to the stairs, his heart racing.

He flung the stairs door open and pulled it shut, scared the man would be the kind to give chase if he saw the door closing. He jumped down the first set of stairs, putting a good head start between him and the man, and the second one, jumping four stairs at a time on the rest of the sets, picturing the man taking the elevator down, and determined to beat him to the street.

_Shit shit shit shit shit crap shit!_ Over the sound of his loud landings and his pounding pulse in his ears he wasn't even sure if the man was giving chase, or if he was perfectly alone.

He calmed himself down by taking a singular deep breath before he opened the door to the reception area, and calmly walked past the bustling staff and sleepy customers checking in, inconspicuously watching for the man in the corner of his eyes.

_So far so good. _

He spotted an empty cab that looked like its last occupant had just been dropped off. He jumped into the backseat, ignoring his odd glance, and told the driver his address.

_Holy shit am I in luck. Lucky the cab just happened to be here. Holy shit._ He tried to calm sown his rapid heartbeat, running his fingers through his tangled bedhead hair, as he watched the hotel fade behind him. His adrenaline began to wear off, and he let out a shaky sigh of relief.

That'd been too close. He needed to be more careful.

What the fuck was that guy's problem, anyway? Jesus fuck! Was he clingy or some shit?

_He fucking pisses me off!_

Scowling, Karkat pulled out his cellphone, and opened his messages. Dave had sent him some messages last night and early this morning.

turntechGodhead [TG] started pestering carcinoGenecist [CG]

TG: dude i saw you at the bar

TG: with some douchey asshole looking guy in 3d glasses

TG: well

TG: i saw you at the bar but I really just saw you heading out the backdoor eyefucking his brains out

TG: dude looked frisky

TG: you looked frisky

TG: and from the way youre not answering i can tell you two are working out your mutual friskiness in TG: the only way your royal friskifulness knows how

TG: bow chika wow wowww

TG: my sick rhyming skills amaze even me

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGenecist [CG]

turntechGodhead [TG] resumed pestering carcinoGenecist [CG]

TG: dude

TG: dude

TG: bruh

TG: bruh

TG: dude

TG: well listen anyway

TG: i won't be back early today

TG: i am also working out some friskiness

TG: key's under the doormat

turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering carcinoGenecist [CG]

Karkat rolled his eyes so hard it physically pained him. The fuck is wrong with his roommate? He had some serious fuckery wrong with him.

He felt the car start to slow and glanced up to see they were outside his apartment. He paid the driver and hopped out, the familiar sight of his faded chipped apartment building door greeting him. The iron wrought railing leading up concrete steps leading to it had the usual sight on it, a stray cat.

He walked over and greeted her.

" Hello Nep."

The red haired, befreckled, green eyed girl, who was about 16, returned his smile.

" Morning Karkat." Her voice had this unique underlying rumble to it, almost a purr that sent a particular tremble through her words.

This was the norm. Nepeta was a neighborhood homeless kid. She was pretty notorious for being an excellent pickpocket and thief, but she was kind and funny and just generally had a good attitude that appealed to Karkat. He liked her quite a bit, the spunky kid she was. They'd become good friends, over the year and a half Karkat had been living in this part of the city.

One day, when he'd just moved in, he came outside, and she'd been passed out on his steps, with a gunshot wound on her shoulder. He'd been freaked the fuck out, and called an ambulance. At the hospital, he didn't know her name, or family, or anything else about her, when he was questioned. But he couldn't just leave her alone in the hospital, without family or a way to pay for the surgery. So he'd paid. In cash, since his insurance obviously wouldn't cover a complete stranger.

He'd had to leave though, and she woke up, wondering who he was or why he'd helped her. Apparently she'd thought he'd had some evil plan or conception to try to make her owe him or some shit.

She'd tracked him down, suspicious, only to discover he was a normal guy without any hidden agenda. He'd spotted her hiding and spying on him in the mornings, and he waved and smiled, to which she got angry and took off. He did this every time he saw her. Eventually she returned the gestures, and then started talking to him. She'd taken a while to warm up to him. Karkat was glad. He'd felt rather protective of her, ever since he'd met her. Like a little sister.

She took to relaxing on his apartment steps in the morning, after she was done with her first daily round of bumping into strangers as the walked to work or about their morning business, and taking their wallets. They usually chatted as he walked to work, or went grocery shopping.

She'd never stole from Karkat though. She told him all about her life, and he told her all about his. They were good friends. During winter, she kept some of her stuff at his place. Some cold nights, she asked to stay over. He'd told her she could live there all winter if she needed, but she always refused. She had another friend, Karkat didn't know if he was homeless too or not, that she stayed with during winter.

He'd asked her, on one of their many chatting occasions, why she was homeless. She'd told him she chose to be. Her mother had died when she was 13, her father long out of the picture. It was just her. She couldn't find a job that would pay her as much money as she could earn stealing. Especially not one that would hire her knowing she was autistic. And she wanted to get a lot of money quickly. He'd asked why. She wanted to get a house, someplace in the country, maybe on a farm. Her eyes always got that faraway dreaming look in them, when she talked about her farm. She wanted a big house, and she wanted to fall in love. She wanted to fill her big house with a big, messy family. She wanted a garden for her and her lover and their children to play and frolic in. She wanted horses and chickens and cows to take care of. She wanted a home full of love. That's what she wanted.

To Karkat, it was something unfathomable. He himself had grown up with both parents, who were overly oppressive, in a average house, with average things. He'd had an older brother. He'd been on family trips and had to do chores. The average rebellious stages he'd gone through, that eventually led to his moving out at 18, and following his dream of living in a big city. He'd enrolled in a college, specializing in culinary arts. He'd figured there was never not a need for people who knew how to cook good food. He was currently employed in an apprenticeship in a three star restaurant too. His life, to him, had seemed pretty great, even desirable. Nepeta's dream was so foreign to him.

But he had grown up loved and surrounded by people. She hadn't. It was only natural, he guessed, to want a family when you hadn't had one.

" I see you had a wonderfurrly purrrfect night." She winked, and Karakt caught the cat puns. She had a thing for them.

He shrugged, acting cool and sitting beside her.

" It was great. I kinda had to pull a parkour escape this morning though. I swear to Christ, I thought he was gonna give chase." He ran his fingers through his hair yet again, stressed just remembering.

" Well, maybe you shouldn't be such a-" Karkat gave a sharp look, and she finished with, "...whore." Then she smiled, completely undaunted by Karkat's glare.

He sighed, angry that she seemed to be one of the only ones who wasn't scared of his anger.

" Well, how else am I supposed to get off?" It was rhetorical, but she opened her mouth to answer, " Don't answer that." She closed it. " I'm just in that stage of my life where I want to fuck random hot dudes and not have to be tied down to any." He reached over to flick her nose as he stood up. " You'll understand when you're older." He thumbed towards the apartment door. " You want breakfast?"

She stood up too. " No, I ate earlier. Besides, I have to go back to 'work' now." She brushed off her rear, then shot him a knowing grin. " Just wanted to give you shit when you made it home."

" Gee, thanks a lot, kitty bitch." He rolled his eyes. At least she meant well.

" No puuuuroblem, Karkitty." She hopped over the railing and took off at a light job, shouting back to him, " I'll catch you later!"

" See ya!" He shouted, watching her run off. She could run pretty damn fast. And she was thin, short and agile. Guess she had to be, to be good at what she did.

He turned away, and headed inside. He and Dave lived on the first floor, simply because they hadn't wanted to move shit tons of furniture up tons of fucking stairs.

He reached apartment 003, and slipped his hand under the doormat, his fingers grasping the key. He unlocked the door and returned it under the mat.

His apartment wasn't too bad. Two bedroom, one bathroom. Rent wasn't too bad, and Dave and he split it. Utilities included. Dave wasn't really messy, and they got along well enough.

He'd met Dave at school. Through a friend. They'd hung out pretty often, and had both been in need of housing for the term. So they decided on this place, since it wasn't too far from campus, and it wasn't in a bad part of the city.

Karkat would've preferred to live alone, but the rent would be too high. Besides, Dave was company. The only thing that really got under his ever thickening skin was Dave's shitty rap. He had an obsession with making his own and listening to really bad rap.

But he dealt. He had a year left in the culinary program. They once he was working full time, he'd have enough saved up to get his own place.

At least, that was his plan. After that, well, who knew. He'd roll with it.

He went to the fridge and pulled out the cream cheese, stuck a bagel in the toaster and waited for it to toast. He could probably make better bagels. Store bought ones were shit.

Waiting, he went to the living room area that was attached to the kitchen, and turned on the TV. Immediately, he found a romcom already halfway over. He'd watch it anyway. Today was his day off, and he had no classes. He thoroughly planned to relax. Hopefully Dave would be taking a long time getting home. No doubt he'd want to fucking spend the day in is room scratching records and shittily rapping.

Karkat heard the toaster pop and went to get his food. It felt strange not to have things to do today. He returned to the couch to watch the movie.

It actually wasn't that interesting, and he found his mind wandering. He looked at the woman and the man on screen, imagining himself in a similar situation, with the familiar ache in his heart. The way he looked at her, with all that longing in his eyes. It was as if his soul was reaching out for her..

Karkat felt the little twinges of envy erupt inside him.

As far as dreams went, that was his.

To have someone look at him like that.

Like he was their one and only. Like he was their own personal sun. Like the very world was something that had been made for him, just to try to get his attention.

He wanted that more than anything in the world.

Not that he would ever admit that to anyone, EVER.

God, he'd die of embarrassment if he did. He'd never live it down.

Besides, it's not like he had any hope of it coming true. He knew stuff like that wasn't real.

He knew.

But.

Karkat swallowed the last bit of his bagel, feeling it go down hard. He turned off the TV, fed up with the movie and totally lost with the plot, and headed to his bedroom to grab his laptop. There was bound to be something to do on there. If nothing proved interesting, he'd catch up on work. He had all day to kill before tonight.

He knew stuff like that wasn't real.

It didn't stop him from longing for it. His loneliness was unbearable at times. Thankfully, he'd found something that blocked out the depression and fulfilled that emotional pit, if only temporarily.

Last night had been great. He'd make tonight be even better.

And hopefully the pit would stay filled longer.


	3. Chapter 3

Karkat stretched and yawned, feeling his spine crack in four places as he stood to his feet. That lecture had been awful. Informative, Karkat noted, but dry as all hell.

_Ah, well._ Karkat thought as he stood and followed the stream of students from the lecture hall. _At least it's fucking over now._

"Hey, best friend!" Karkat started to turn towards the voice, to see a stoned juggalo come flying at him.

"Fuck!" They crashed to the ground, and Karkat banged his head off the hard floor. The clown burst out laughing.

"Fuck _off_, Gamzee! We're too fucking old for this!" Karkat kicked him in the stomach as hard as he could, which only sent Gamzee into a harder fit of laughter, which only pissed Karkat off more. "You stupid fuck!"

"Honk, honk!" Was his only reply, which earned him another kicked to the face as Karkat disentangled himself from Gamzee's sprawled limbs.

Karkat sighed as he watched Gamzee just continue lying on the floor, chuckling to himself. He looked like a fucking buffoon. Thankfully, the campus was used to his antics, and the class hadn't paid him any mind as they shuffled out of the classroom. The people passing in the hall gave them strange looks however.

"Get up, asshat. People are starting to question your sanity more than they already do."

"I don't motherfucking think that's possible, bro." The clown smiled and got up. "But the floor's hard and shit."

"Ah." Karkat started walking, and Gamzee fell into step next to him. "Wanna get some food?"

"Aw, yeah! I'm up and starving!" Gamzee grinned down at him. "I'll pay, bro, don't even worry about it or anything."

Karkat sniffed. "Ok, what's up."

"Hmm?"

"You never pay. You exist in a continuum of perpetual broke-ness. Why're you being for fucking nice now? What do you want?"

Gamzee laughed. "You always see through me, motherfucker."

Karkat waited until he finally admitted, "I need to ask a motherfucking favor of you."

"There it is." Karkat sighed.

"I need a brother to hook me up."

"With what?" Karkat wasn't agreeing to anything yet.

"Well, uh, you see.." Karkat watched as his close friend struggled with words. "It's about me and Tav.."

Instantly, Karkat knew what he was asking. He must have forgotten to take his medication for the zillionth time and had an episode. Tavros probably got in the way while he was lashing out. He probably got scared and wasn't talking to him.

Gamzee never meant to hurt people when he flipped his shit. He just did. And when he was back in his right state of mind, he never remembered what he had done. He just knew he did something, and tried to make it up to whoever he had hurt.

"Again, Gamzee? Really?" Karkat sighed in exasperation. Gamzee had the decency to look ashamed.

"I didn't mean to, Karbro. I really didn't." He murmured, looking at their feet. Karkat hadn't realized they'd stopped walking.

He and Gamzee had been friends for the longest time. About ten years, they met when they were thirteen at some stupid summer camp for kids with anger issues. Having someone to roll your eyes with through all the stupid breathing exercises and painting sessions made the summer that much more bearable.

They grew up in different parts of the country, and got pretty close over the internet as they got older. They agreed to go to the same college too, so they found one together where Karkat could do his culinary programs and Gamzee could major in philosophy and sociology. They went to each to each other on bad days when they thought they might make the jump off the precarious edge between sanity and snapping they constantly lived on. Councilors, therapists, it didn't fucking matter how many sweet, patient, utterly _useless_ words were said in soothing and understanding tones. They were all fake. No one understood, and out of the few who did, much less actually cared.

They were just doing their jobs, whether it be out of a genuine desire to try and help the _angry kids_, or out of a sense of superiority, or out of a sense of duty. None of them had the faintest clue what they all actually needed. They didn't need to breathe in patterns, or write happy thoughts on scraps of paper. They didn't need to follow some fucking 12 step program that would magically bring their raging emotions back down to the levels of normalcy everyone else had.

Karkat had hated the programs. He didn't need some asshole who grew up with mommy and daddy and went to college on their good graces to tell him he wasn't good enough because he had temper issues. The gall most of the therapists had disgusted him.

Gamzee's company had stopped him from offing himself too many times to count. And he knew he was important to him to. He remembered when in camp one summer Gamzee had gotten so pissed he almost took the axe for chopping wood and went on a spree. Karkat had talked in out of it. Funnily enough, what had set him over the edge that time was that they had found his weed stash and confiscated it. He'd told them outright the weed helped just as much as his medication did, but they still took it.

That was the last summer Gamzee went to the camp. He was eighteen, and court order was over. Thankfully too, Karkat had no doubt he wouldn't become a murderer if he'd been forced to go another year. Karkat had one year to suffer without his company, because he was a year younger, but it actually wasn't too bad. By the time he turned eighteen, Karkat no longer had episodes. He'd learned to control himself and his emotions. He knew the difference between getting angry or pissed, and being ready to shove a pencil through someone's eye. He was 'cured'.

Gamzee never was. His bipolar wouldn't allow it. But as long as he had his weed and medication combo, he was golden. Friendly, hospitable, helpful, nice. Good guy.

But he needed those two things. And sometimes when he forgot to call in to refill his prescription in time, he snapped, and people in his way would get hurt. Like his boyfriend Tavros, for instance.

"Yeah, I'll talk to him." Karkat sighed again as they left the building and stepped into the warm afternoon air. "You're paying though. And for god's sake, Gamzee, call in your fucking meds!"

Karkat felt his long, strong arms slip around his shoulders, pulling him to a stop, and soft locks buried into his neck. He sighed and reached back ruffling his long black hair.

"I know, big guy. But he'd not gonna stick around if this keeps happening. You know that."

"Yeah." He softly breathed against his ear. "Sorry."

"I know you love him, dork."

"Yeah."

"And it is the first time in awhile, right?"

"Yeah."

"When was the last time?"

"Last August."

"You sure?" Karkat asked in surprised. Had he really gone that long without a lapse?

"Yes."

Karkat turned around and pulled the tall male into a tight hug. "Good job, Gamzee!" He smiled.

Gamzee smiled back at him.

"You never smile like that anymore, Karbro."

"I'm super proud of you!" Karkat reached up to ruffle his hair again playfully. "That's a year and a month! Do you realize that!? That's great!"

"I've been remembering and shit. Breathing and shit's stupid, but I found a motherfucking dealer who's really cool and shit." Gamzee grinned, almost bashful, and scratched his stubble shyly.

"Good boy!" Karkat grinned, taking his elbow in his. "That's so good!"

Gamzee blushed happily. "Thanks, Karbro."

Karkat patted him on the back. "But if you were doing so good, why'd you forget this time?"

Gamzee frowned again. "I don't know. I guess I smoked one too many or something."

"Well, alright." Karkat didn't bother to pry further. He obviously had no idea. "I'll talk to Tav. But don't let it happen again, ok?"

Gamzee smiled, and pulled him in for another hug. "Yeah, I got it. Thanks a million, motherfucker."

"Yeah, yeah. Get off me, ya queer." He chuckled., and they continued walking. "Let's go to that pizza joint."

"Which one?"

"The one where you can order a pizza with anything as a topping."

"Ok."

It was a great place. Karkat quite enjoyed it. They'd gone there before on John's birthday, and it had been a blast. Pizza was great, there was a pool table and a bunch of arcade games. Karkat would probably get something expensive, bid farewell to Gamzee, then head home. He'd probably get ready for the night before heading out to some club to get laid. Typical Friday night.

They approached the pizzaria's door, and went inside to the cool air conditioned environment. It felt nice after the walk from campus into the city that had made them work up a light sweat. They sat down in a booth, and decided on a small veggie and french fry pizza. The waiter came back with their drinks fairly quickly.

They ate their pizza in between cracking jokes and sharing stories. Karkat felt himself relaxing into a state of peaceful tranquility, and found that smiling and laughing at Gamzee's stupid jokes came naturally. He'd missed his company.

"Kinda sucks our schedules don't coincide more often." Karkat pouted as they finished their meal.

"It does up and suck. Hey, Karbro?"

"Yeah?"

"Whatcha thinking 'bout doing after we graduate?"

Karkat took a sip of his soda. "I was gonna keep living here. My apprenticeship's going really well, and once I go from apprentice to hired chef, the pay is doubled. I could afford my current apartment even when Dave moves out, or whatever the fuck he plans on doing after school."

"Really."

"Yep. What about you?"

"Well, I don't really know. There aren't a lot of jobs for philosophy majors, ya know?"

"I hear ya."

"I was thinking about.. up and seeing if the Navy'd take me."

Karkat almost choked. "The Navy?" He asked incredulously.

"Yeah."

"Why? You never said anything about this before!"

"Well." Gamzee looked uncomfortable. "I'll need a job to pay off my student loans. And I already looked into the requirements. All I got to do is take a few tests, signs some papers, and talk to some people about my bipolar. That's the only thing I think that they might not take me with."

Karkat stared at his friend with his mouth a gap. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"You know you could die, right? Like, be killed?"

"Yeah." Gamzee fiddled with a straw wrapper.

"What even do you wanna do in the Navy?"

Gamzee brightened. "I don't know, but I always liked the ocean. And my dad was in the Navy, so I figure it's in my bloodline and heritage and shit, right? I like ships, and hell, Karkat, it'll pay my loans off too! I could be a sailor, couldn't I? I'd make it, don't you think?"

Karkat huffed. He didn't think he was thinking this through, but he wouldn't be the one to distinguish that hopeful twinkling in his eyes.

"If it's what you wanna do, go for it. I ain't gonna fucking stop you." Karkat waved a waiter over, "We're ready for the check."

"Alright, just a moment." He left.

"Karbro, you okay?"

"Peachy." He rolled his eyes, feeling his good mood slip away.

"I pissed you off, didn't I?"

"A little." He admitted, sighing. He looked up, finally making eye contact with him. "I just don't want to lose you. You're one of the most important people in my life. What am I gonna do when I've got to attend your funeral because your boat blew up or shit?"

Gamzee's radiance simmered down, and he gave him a small smile. "Well, it's not like I plan to motherfucking die. I'm gonna do my motherfucking hardest to survive, Karbro."

"I know." Karkat sighed, and the waiter returned with their check. Gamzee paid in cash and they got their stuff and left. They walked in silence. Gamzee lived in the dorms, and Karkat's apartment was in the opposite direction. When they got to the road they split on, Karkat turned and said bye before starting to walk home.

"Hey, Karbro?"

"Yeah?" He turned around to Gamzee giving him a light peck on the cheek.

"I ain't gonna die. Wouldn't do that to my best friend." Karkat rolled his eyes at Gamzee's mischievous smirk.

"Wipe that shit-eating grin off your face and go home." He couldn't help but laugh though. "I'll see you later." He started walking again.

"See ya, motherfucker!" Gamzee shouted behind him.

Karkat shook his head as he walked the fifteen block walk to his apartment building. That crazy fucker joining the Navy. And he looked so hopeful too.

_Well, if he wants to, what the fuck? Go for it, I guess_.

Karkat approached the building he'd called home for the last three years, and went inside. Room 003 was unlocked, and he went inside.

"Dave! You here?"

"Living room." Replied a monotone male voice.

Karkat went to the living room to find a blond boy in mirror aviators sprawled on the couch, a game station controller in his hand and some zombie game flashing on the screen.

"You eat?"

"Yeah. Going out with Dirk later. Gonna hit up a club. Coming with?" He offered.

"Sure. I was gonna head out to do the same anyway."

"Cool. Heading out at eight."

"'Kay."

Karkat left to go up to his room. He'd kill a few hours sleeping. Maybe watch some porn just to get in the partying mood.

His mind wandered to the other night, with the hot guy in the 3D glasses. Holy shit, that had been hot. That guy knew how to touch him in all the right places.

Karkat shivered at the memory, and bit his lip.

_Head in the game, Karkat. You've got another night ahead of you. Let's go for a threesome. Set goals high._


End file.
